The number one thing I have learned about my communication style is I need to listen first, reflect on what is said, and then share my thoughts and opinions. I have come to the sad realization I am quick to react to positive and negative information. Although it may be perceive well to quickly react positively, it is much less often perceived well when I quickly react negatively. I have been making a conscious effort in conversations to slow down my reaction time. I have been trying hard to listen and be more respectful of the person speaking before I jump in with my thoughts and feelings.
Principle of NVC (nonviolent communication) has been helpful to keep in mind. I must shift my thinking to think needs, my needs and the needs of the people I am communicating with. I may have a need to express my thoughts and opinions on a topic being shared, but I must also take a moment and think about the other persons needs before I jump into the conversation. They may need to finish their thought before being questioned. By taking a step back and thinking about needs, my responses will be more cooperative, conscious, and compassionate.
The 3R’s are described by Magda Gerber will also be very helpful to keep in mind while communicating with others. If I were presenting information to a group and especially a group I know is not going to receive the information well I would be nervous and would not like it if people did not show me the respect I deserve. So I will make more of an effort in my communications to remember to show respect for the other person or people and treat them as I would want them to treat me if I were the one presenting. I will also continue to work on being more responsive. I know my colleges well and feel very comfortable with them, but I do not always spend time watching for cues from body language, temperaments, and their needs. Being more in tune with the people we are communicating will have a huge impact on the quality of my future communications.
I truly do not want to others to just agree with me or shut down in a conversation because I spoke up. I want to communicate in a more appropriate manner and encourage others to also share their thoughts and opinions on the topic. I believe with this new learning I will be able to be a more effective communicator